The most important members of the hospice team are the patient and family. They pick the care plan. Treatments are based on their wishes. And loved ones are usually the main caregivers.

Grief affects us all in a variety of ways we may not expect. Feeling sad is a normal reaction, but there are often physical side effects that show themselves after a loss. Some of the symptoms are:

• Trouble Sleeping
• Eating Problems
• Headaches
• Etc

These are normal physical reactions to grief. It does not mean you are crazy or have an illness. Physical symptoms should improve as your emotions level out. See your doctor if you are suffering from serious pain or prolonged pain. He or she can find out if this is a symptom of grief or something else.

What you can do:

• Rest. Your body needs rest to bear the physical symptoms of grief. If you can’t sleep, try herbal teas or soft music to help you relax. Avoid taking sleeping pills every night.
• Go easy on yourself. Limit your “To Do” list. It’s okay if you can’t stay focused. Be patient with yourself if you forget things.
• Get regular exercise and eat a healthy diet. Drink plenty of water. Healthy living helps both body and mind.
• Cry. Crying helps let the pain out. Tears help relieve stress, lower blood pressure, and promote healing.
• Avoid negative habits. Alcohol and drug abuse, overeating, or other negative habits will only mask grief. This delays the grieving process. It may be even harder to face the pain later. Seek help if you start turning to these types of things to handle your grief.

Often times people begin to withdraw from friends, family and the world around them as a normal part of the dying process. This process may begin as early as a week before the death. The person may stay in bed all day and spend more time asleep than awake.

With the withdrawal comes less of a need to communicate with others; touch and silence take on more meaning. People at this point may seem unresponsive and difficult to arouse or may appear to be in a coma-like state. This detaching from surroundings and relationships may be preparation for release and letting go.

How to Manage Withdrawal:

• Plan activities and visits for times of day when the person seems most alert.
• Because hearing remains intact to the end, speak to the person in your normal tone of voice.
• Identify yourself by name when you speak. Tell the person what you are going to do before you do it. For example: “Bob, this is Karen. I’m going to clean your mouth now.”
• Remember not to say anything in front of the person that you wouldn’t say if he or she were awake.

The time after death can be frantic. Often the journey starts with family, visitors, and a plan. The stress combined with the grief can be too much some days.

A the feeling of loss can come at any time after a passing. At times it can seem unreal or you may feel that you are just a passenger in your life as your body brings you from one day to the next. With all the chaos it can be hard to find time to grieve.

Often having a ritual like a funeral, wake, or memorial service can help the grieving process. Some events are small and personal or even completely unique. If there is no ceremony you can even take the time to remember them in a way that you feel is right.

The holidays are ideally a time to connect as a family and celebrate traditions, however, this time of year can be challenging for many families, especially caregivers. While the holidays can be stressful for people caring for a loved one with a terminal illness, they can also be the most rewarding times to express your emotions and share memories.

We’ve compiled a list of “holiday do’s” for caregivers that we hope help make your holidays a little less stressful and a little more joyful

Let it flow

• Do allow your emotions to flow. Accept and don’t be ashamed of whatever emotions may arise at the prospect of not having your loved one at the same event next year. By the same token, please don’t feel guilty as you laugh whole-heartedly at the re-telling of funny family stories.
• Do allow the person in your care to freely express their emotions as well. They are fully justified in feeling whatever they are feeling at this stage of their journey. They may be overjoyed to spend time with a relative they haven’t seen for years and may cry the next minute at the prospect of not seeing their college-aged grandchildren again.

Let it go

• Do let some things go this year…or revise them a bit. Ask someone else to host Thanksgiving this year. You don’t have to put out all 78 Santas and wrap lights around the front trees. Ten Santas and lights around the door is more than enough this year!
• Do delegate holiday tasks that you may have taken care of in the past. Ask a neighbor or your grandkids to hang up those lights around the door. Your brother can make the fudge this year. You already have a full plate. You deserve to enjoy the holidays, too.
• Do allow yourself to miss a few family activities if that alleviates some stress. You don’t have to participate in everything. Check in with the person in your care and see which activities are important to them.
• Do allow yourself to not feel bad about arriving late or leaving early to any family functions.

Share and record

• Do tell the wonderful and silly stories about your loved one that are treasures to share.
• Encourage your family to listen to (and record!) the stories your loved one may want to share.
• Do consider compiling recordings of each guest sharing a favorite memory into a video to share with your loved one. Enlist help for this – a great job for tech-savvy grandkids!

Embrace the moment

• Do take lots of photos and/or videos of your family celebrating with the person in your care.

• Do cherish the small, intimate moments that happen during the larger celebrations.

 

It’s important to care for yourself and keep your limits in mind during the holidays. Be gentle with yourself and don’t do more than you know you can handle. Let yourself feel the feelings, don’t hold them in for “a more appropriate” time. And don’t be afraid to ask for help. Others should be glad to be there for helping with tasks or just for comfort.

Happy Holidays from our family to yours.

 

 

No one likes to think or talk about death and dying. But it’s a reality we all face-more and more people are taking charge of how they will live out their final days. This becoming known as the “good death.”

Through life, we want to have as many new experiences as possible but in the end what really matters are the simple things. This is found in many cultures and known as socioemotional selectivity theory. We simply want companionship. Most importantly, the patient must be content with the decision. Which means, as hard as it may be, ask them what would make them comfortable-giving a sense of control. A “good death” can be achieved just by talking about it.

In recent research, patients and families claim there are three important factors to consider.

Being pain free
Being in a good head space
Patient is in an environment comfortable for them
Hospice’s main goal is helping with all of these factors. With legislation changing constantly, hospice care is becoming easier to choose. Nearly all insurance (private and public) covers hospice care. 80% of patients are cared for at home, making them feel as comfortable as possible. In return, making for a “good death.”

All in all, comfort and being content are the top priorities. Hospice care professionals take pride in honoring the wishes of the patient.

So take the time to think about how you would prepare for your “good death.” What would make you most content at the end?

Contact: Maria Patino

832.410.3193

katyhospices.com

Home health aides and personal care aides are also known as superheroes to the individuals they help. Typically, home health aides and personal care aides assist disabled, chronically ill, cognitively impaired, and elderly individuals.

Common duties performed by home health aides and personal care aides range from assisting clients in bathing and dressing to light housekeeping duties and meal planning and preparation. Perhaps the most important thing home health care providers and personal care aides do for their clients, however, is provide companionship.

Home health aides usually work for certified home health or hospice agencies receiving government funding. They are usually supervised by a nurse. Duties of a home health care worker may range from giving massages, skincare, and help with braces or artificial limbs to changing sheets and emptying bedpans.

Personal care aides often work in a client’s home and are hired directly by the client or the client’s family. Personal care aides may not provide any medical services.

Direct support professionals work with individuals with developmental or intellectual disabilities. Their tasks typically include creating a behavior plan, helping their client find work, and teaching self-care skills.